What Fires You Up?

What Fires You Up?

 
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9/03/2008

 
Revised Republican Morality #1

Rules for Teenagers and Sex:

1. Abstinence First

2. If Rule #1 is not followed and a teen pregnancy results:

a. A baby must be carried to term
b. The pregnant teen must marry the father
c. The family must support the couple

3. If Rule #2 is followed with all three conditions met, then these following
exclusions may apply:

a. The pregnant teen cannot be FLDS (especially in Texas and Arizona)
b. Ethnicity other than Caucasian will be considered but may be excluded
c. Rape and incest may be excluded, depending on the state of residence
d. If the family is not middle income or above, may be excluded
e. Religious affiliation not Christian, may be cause for exclusion

4. If a pregnant teen meets all three conditions of Rule #2 and does not have an exclusion based on any of Rule #3 conditions, then the "public" will celebrate the pregnancy and brand-new "nuclear family".